Three Shoeboxes

Mac Anderson holds life in the palm of his hand. He has a beautiful wife, three loving children, a comfortable home, and a successful career. Everything is perfect—or so it seems. Tragically, Mac is destined to learn that any sense of security can quickly prove false. Because an invisible enemy called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has invaded Mac’s fragile mind and it is about to drop him to his knees. He does all he can to conceal his inner chaos, but to no avail. Left to contend with ignorance, an insensitive justice system, and the struggles of an invisible disease, he loses everything—most importantly his family.

One shoebox might store an old pair of sneakers. Two shoeboxes might contain a lifetime of photographs. But in Three Shoeboxes, a father’s undying love may be just enough to make things right again.

*May Contain Spoilers*

Steven Manchester is known to write heartwrenching tales of love, faith, and family. Three Shoeboxes,  his newest novel, is no different. As Mac suddenly begins experiencing panic attacks, his heroic father status is quickly revoked and he must work diligently to regain his life while trying to understand what is happening to him -- and why. 

Mac Anderson and his wife, Jen, are both main characters in this novel, though the story is really about Mac's experience with anxiety and panic attacks. Mac is a great father and a loving husband, but he starts having panic attacks out of nowhere, which completely changes his entire personality. He quickly becomes a man who tries to relieve his pain through alcohol, a man who frightens his children with a quick temper and unpredictable mood swings, and a husband who doesn't trust his wife or her decisions. 

As someone who has personal experience with anxiety, I thought that I would connect with Mac on a deeper level than I did. His mood swings, destructive tendencies, and cruel actions, however, turned me against him rather quickly. For the first half of the book, Mac was a character that I kind of hated. And I think it was mainly because there is no explanation as to why these panic attacks start. I understand that knowing the root cause is often an unattainable goal in anxiety, but I couldn't get past how horrible Mac's character was, even when he started to redeem himself and take control of his mental health. The extremes that Mac goes to in order to relieve his pain were too much for me to forgive so quickly and I found myself wanting the story to have a happy ending but not caring as much as I usually would. 

The plot of the novel begins with the presentation of Mac before the panic attacks begin. Then suddenly, Mac is suffering daily from his anxiety, drinking and skipping out on work. His relationship with his wife and his children then begin to deteriorate and before Mac knows it, he has been arrested for domestic violence. It takes him a while, but eventually, he does realize that if he wants to get back to his children, he'll have to face his anxiety disorder head-on, which is exactly what he does.

Even though I didn't feel a strong connection to the main character, the best thing about this book is that it is a conversation starter and it doesn't shy away from the negative consequences that suffering from a mental illness can cause. Though the novel paints anxiety and panic attacks as something that will ruin your life, it also demonstrates that by addressing the problem with mental health care that it can be treated and stability can be rediscovered. I like and support books that open up topics like this because mental health has been a taboo topic for much too long. Because of that, I would recommend this book, though I think readers will be split on whether they truly connect with the story based on whether they have their own experience with anxiety and panic attacks (even PTSD). 

Rating: 3/5 Cups

Short Story Sunday - "Not Fair"

"Not Fair" by Steven Manchester is a short story that works as a teaser for his novel, Three Shoeboxes. In this story, readers are introduced to Mac, a father struggling with severe anxiety. By reading this story before the book's release, I feel that there is a foundational connection with the main character. I haven't even started the novel yet and I already feel empathy and sympathy for Mac as he struggles to live his life without alcohol to ease his constant worry and fear.

Manchester also sets up conflict in this story as Mac's marriage and the relationships he has with his children are all strained by his anxiety. Through the story, Manchester demonstrates how close Mac and his wife were early on in their marriage. He then shows how much has changed which creates an emotional conflict that will undoubtedly be expanded upon in the novel. The struggle to connect with and be there for his children was the aspect of the story that hit me the hardest. This short story, a few pages about Mac taking his children to the county fair, presents a family falling apart. It succeeds as a teaser for the novel as readers of the short story hope that Mac can face his anxiety, share it with his family, and find a way to overcome it.



Synopsis for Three Shoeboxes:
Mac Anderson holds life in the palm of his hand. He has a beautiful wife, three loving children, a comfortable home, and a successful career. Everything is perfect—or so it seems. Tragically, Mac is destined to learn that any sense of security can quickly prove false. Because an invisible enemy called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has invaded Mac’s fragile mind and it is about to drop him to his knees. He does all he can to conceal his inner chaos, but to no avail. Left to contend with ignorance, an insensitive justice system, and the struggles of an invisible disease, he loses everything—most importantly his family.

One shoebox might store an old pair of sneakers. Two shoeboxes might contain a lifetime of photographs. But in Three Shoeboxes, a father’s undying love may be just enough to make things right again.

(Access to this short story is available by signing up for Steven Manchester's mailing list.)

The Yellow Birds

In Al Tafar, Iraq, twenty-one-year old Private Bartle and eighteen-year-old Private Murphy cling to life as their platoon launches a bloody battle for the city. In the endless days that follow, the two young soldiers do everything to protect each other from the forces that press in on every side: the insurgents, physical fatigue, and the mental stress that comes from constant danger.

Bound together since basic training when their tough-as-nails Sergeant ordered Bartle to watch over Murphy, the two have been dropped into a war neither is prepared for. As reality begins to blur into a hazy nightmare, Murphy becomes increasingly unmoored from the world around him and Bartle takes impossible actions.

*May Contain Spoilers*

Kevin Powers writes a poetic, yet haunting, tale of one military member's experience with the Iraq war in his novel, The Yellow Birds. Private Bartle made a promise, one that he should never have made, to keep another member alive during their deployment. He failed. His failure haunts him as survivor's guilt shreds his life along with his suffering from PTSD. 

John Bartle is represented as being both bad and good. His assignment as narrator is not easily trusted, as Bartle struggles with remembering what happened in Iraq. As a soldier, Bartle adapted to the war. He killed when he had to, almost automatically, while his mind sometimes questioned what his body was doing. Bartle's memory of Iraq is beautifully described with glints of danger, fear, and horror. The blunt force of what happened in Iraq is positioned carefully in contrast with the beauty of Powers' prose. It almost attacks the reader with its horrific qualities. 

Readers will undoubtedly form an emotional attachment to Bartle. As the chapters switch from past to present, readers see what toll the war takes on Bartle's mind, body, and sense of right and wrong. His PTSD is readily apparent and begs for release. It's heartbreaking and soul shattering in its disparity. 

From the start of the novel, readers know that Private Murphy will die and that Bartle will break his promise to protect him. Though what exactly happened is held back until near the end of the story. Bartle shares the story in pieces, reminiscent of the chalk marks he made on a concrete wall that represented each memory resurfacing. The non-linear timeline creates a poignant chaos of different disasters all culminating in one broken promise. Though the prose is beautiful and the writing style poetic, this novel is not for the faint of heart. It's a struggle to read and to understand, though incredibly moving and powerful in its complexity. 

Rating: 3.5/5 Cups