Like a Closed Fist

It was harmless enough: her best friend's wedding. But for California girl Phoebe, forty-eight hours in North Carolina changed her life.
No one is more surprised than Phoebe when she falls hopelessly in love with her dad’s much older, very married friend. Although she wants nothing more than to jump headfirst into an affair with Mitch, he refrains, telling her she’s just a kid.
Determined to prove him wrong, young Phoebe learns the irony of best laid plans. She travels to North Carolina for a wedding and accidentally falls head-over-heels for two very different men: Mason, the hotel concierge, and Frankie, a captain in the Merchant Marines. Throw in two old flames and a hunky masseur and you’ve got a most complicated love hexagon in this cautionary tale of love, sex, grief, and growing up.

*May Contain Spoilers*

The calm life of twenty-four year old Phoebe is about to swirl with drama in E.H. Nolan's book, Like a Closed Fist. After being off the dating scene for a few years, Phoebe is suddenly juggling more men than one hand can count while trying to deal with a deep scar that caused her to isolate herself in the first place. 

Phoebe is a girl who doesn't know what she wants. She's twenty-four but claims to be twenty-two, dreamed of being an actress but walked away when things got tough, and has no idea what she wants in a boyfriend. But that's what the twenties are for -- time to figure all that out. And that's exactly what Phoebe tries to do. However, her past has scarred her and she's struggled to move on. When she was younger, Phoebe was raped at a party which resulted in a pregnancy that she decided to terminate. It's completely understandable that this froze her in a place of depression, sudden mood swings, uncertainty, lack of confidence and fear.  She also lost her mother in a car accident not too long ago and as a result, Phoebe doesn't drive. 

Yet, Phoebe tries incredibly hard to put on a happy face while trying to wade through the maze of finding herself. This shows readers how brave she is, even when she doesn't feel strong. Although, there are points in the book that shine a bad light on Phoebe. She doesn't make the best decisions and trying to date her father's friend who is married is just one of them. Her constant relapses between men is annoying at times, while her lack of ambition in other areas of her life prompts frowns and head shaking. 

Though, that is the main theme of Like a Closed Fist. Phoebe struggles with her love life, creating more problems for herself than she needs to, because she doesn't yet know what direction she wants her life to go in. Which is where my favorite character comes in, her father. Phoebe's dad is incredibly supportive even though he's struggling with his new widower status. When he finally realizes that time isn't what Phoebe needs, he's there to give her a push in the right direction. 

Like a Closed Fist is a dramatic novel that is simultaneously sad and entertaining, annoying and understandable. Yes, it takes time to figure out what you want out of life and what you want your life to be like. However, it's okay to make mistakes and test the waters while you're trying to discover that. Even though Phoebe isn't the most likeable character, she's three dimensional with an interesting personality and a heart full of hope. Her struggles are relatable and realistic which gives a deeper level to this novel, even though on the surface it seems like a simple love story. Really, it's a love story that has nothing to do with romance and finding the perfect partner and everything to do with loving yourself no matter the number of mistakes or scars. 

Rating: 3.5/5 Cups

The Existence of Pity

Growing up in a lush valley in the Andes mountains, sixteen-year-old Josie Wales is mostly isolated from the turbulence brewing in 1976 Colombia. As the daughter of missionaries, Josie feels torn between their beliefs and the need to choose for herself. She soon begins to hide things from her parents, like her new boyfriend, her trips into the city, and her explorations into different religions.

Josie eventually discovers her parents’ secrets are far more insidious. When she attempts to unravel the web of lies surrounding her family, each thread stretches to its breaking point. Josie tries to save her family, but what happens if they don’t want to be saved?

*May Contain Spoilers*

The Existence of Pity by Jeannie Zokan is a story of a family breaking apart and one girl's trials to keep them together while searching for herself. This novel is a coming of age story that allows Josie the chance to direct her own path, while trying to avoid the collateral damage her family's mistakes create. 

Josie is the daughter of missionaries, living in Columbia, South America. The book is set in the 1970s and focuses on Josie's discovery of her family's secrets and the aftermath they create. Josie is a faithful girl who believes in God and her parents mission, however, she's uncertain that the Baptist faith is the right one for her. Other religions intrigue her and she dearly wants to know more about them, but she feels oppressed by her parents in this regard. Josie is a brave, caring, and loving girl who tends to see the best in people. She's very thankful and loyal to those she loves. However, her personal struggles create tension in her familial relationships. Her parents seem to be very hard on her, for reasons I don't comprehend. They strongly dislike her interest in other religions as well as compare her to her older brother, often stacking the deck against her. Though she tries to look past their mistakes, her family doesn't offer her the same courtesy or attempt to understand what she's going through. I think readers will relate to this feeling of being misunderstood as well as her desire to find her own place in life and in faith. 

The plot of this book is like the climb at the beginning of a roller coaster, moving ever closer to the dropping point. It begins with Josie's older brother being shot, though the reader doesn't know why or how. Thus, the beginning of the rise of chaos as the novel flashes back to the start of it all. Though the novel only takes place over the course of one summer, many things happen and many secrets are revealed, taking the family closer to the edge. I don't want to give each secret away, but something about each family member is revealed which leads to a climax of extreme proportions. The very ideals of family, friendship, trust, and love are tested. Some bend, while others seem to break. Though full of sadness and upset, I enjoyed this book. It's entertaining, questioning, exploratory, and tackles some of the tough parts of growing up and finding the right path. However, the ending is a bit bittersweet as the reader gets to decide if anyone other than Josie learned anything from this one summer of shattering secrets. 

Rating: 4/5 Cups

Tesserae: A Memoir of Two Summers

Mathias B. Freese shares his life with readers through Tesserae: A Memoir of Two Summers. Tessera is the smallest piece of tile used to create a mosaic and Freese uses this definition as an outline for his memories. As he travels back to his childhood and splashes through time much like a Vonnegut pond, Freese sets it all out to dry. He wades through his memories, vulnerable and open, showing readers how life can change with one moment, one person, or even two summers.

This memoir is both about Freese spending two summers in Woodstock and not about Freese spending two summers in Woodstock. It's more focused on how those two summers changed him and though the timeline is a jumble of water droplets, touching and coalescing, readers will be able to grasp the before and after.

Before Woodstock vs. After Woodstock.

Before Woodstock Freese was an emotionally stunted man and he attributes the finding of himself and semi-acceptance of himself to the openness that Woodstock created. Or rather, allowed. As a child, Freese was raised by a depressed mother and a father who never made contact. Freese was alone and therefore lonely. He felt unloved, though he didn't know what love was. This bold pronouncement will undoubtedly pull readers into a sense of emotionally charged empathy. Therefore, Freese the writer gains the vote of the reader. The sympathy associated (or demanded) from a child who admits that he never received love from his parents is given freely. Freese bares his soul in this and readers respond.

Though the two summers at Woodstock are never fully laid out for the reader, Freese does share that the creativity and music were the main attractions for him. Important to note, the drugs were not. Woodstock let Freese be open for the first time in his life. The town, the events, they let him get lost in the creative magic and melody of life and love. Readers take in the impact that Woodstock had on Freese and see how much it helped him. However, he still struggled with love, commitment, understanding, and acceptance.

Mathias Freese is an inspiring and inspired man, often quoting philosophers and other writers, even movies. And he has his scars much like anyone else. Freese, while sharing his change for the better, doesn't leave out the bad. He admits to being a shoddy father and an adulterer. He blames himself for many things, trying, yet failing, to hide from their repercussions. This doesn't allow readers to like him anymore as a narrator, but it does make him more trustworthy. Sharing the bad is much more difficult than sharing the good and Freese faces that head-on.

The memoir is written as a collection of essays jumping through the years in a non-linear way. It truly reminded me of Vonnegut's lake in Slaughterhouse Five. The memoir even includes therapy session scripts, which I assume are legitimate, and chapters written from the perspective of his children, which may just be creative nonfiction, though I'm not sure. They seemed of the same writing style of Freese and one was written in past tense (as if Freese had died) so I'm leaning more towards the fact that it could be a projection of sorts.

Tesserae: A Memoir of Two Summers is so much more than a memoir. It's a study of life and love and shattered pieces of the soul that somehow make up a person. It's a self-analysis with as much honesty as can be given, each tile laid out to create the whole.

Rating: 4.5/5 Cups



Sleeper Protocol

Kieran Roark awakens in a wheelchair, unable to remember anything. As part of a classified experiment, he will have one year to learn his identity and recover his memory, or he will be euthanized by the state.

Scientist Berkeley Bennett has one mission: manipulate Kieran’s emotions in an attempt to bring back his memory. But when she falls in love with him, she is forced to make a harrowing decision that may cost Kieran his life.

What Kieran knows could save Earth from a coming war. Whether he believes the future is worth saving is another matter. Racing across an unfamiliar world in a body he does not recall, Kieran needs to discover who he was and, more importantly, who he is.

*May Contain Spoilers*

 

Kevin Ikenberry writes of a future that is peaceful after many years of war, death, and alien invasion in his book Sleeper Protocol. However, some people think that the peace will only last as long as it takes the next wave of alien invaders to reach Earth. Those people want to prepare the world to fight, an action that most have forgotten. And that is exactly where Sleepers come into play.

 

Kieran is the main character of this novel, though readers don't know his name and neither does he. He's the first Sleeper to be awakened for a program that brings soldiers back from the dead in a new and improved replicated body. This is a unique situation because readers get to experience and learn who Kieran is at the same rate that he does. He's on a journey of discovery and readers get to witness him reuniting with himself. This platform creates a strong foundation for a character connection. Especially since he was woken up to save the world. Kieran was a hero in his former life and the people of the future need that heroism. Though Kieran is a bit naïve, falling in love quickly and being too trusting of those around him, he's a good man. He's honest, open, and very loyal.

 

The plot of Sleeper Protocol is like nothing I've ever read about before. Three hundred years into the future, aliens have invaded, flying cars are everywhere, and peace is abundant but on the verge of collapse. The Defense Counsel needs to awaken soldiers from the past in order to inspire the population to fight for their planet. A new experiment has begun in which deceased soldiers are awakened and given a walkabout - a time to find out who they are and integrate. Kieran is the first and he's under heavy observation. Berkeley is sent to make an emotional connection with Kieran in order to promote his integration. Unexpectedly they fall in love, compromising the mission. Also unexpectedly, the Artificial Intelligence embedded in Kieran's brain begins to think she's alive and fights back. Though I fully enjoyed the story, some of the explanations of protocol and missions and technological processes were confusing. It took a bit of the fun away from the story. My favorite part of the novel was Kieran's innate guidance to return to where he originally came from. I found the fact that home transcended death fascinating and original. Sleeper Protocol is a high stakes novel that fights for survival and promises a sequel.

 

Rating: 3/5 Cups

Eat Pray Love

In her early thirties, Elizabeth Gilbert had everything a modern American woman was supposed to want--husband, country home, successful career--but instead of feeling happy and fulfilled, she felt consumed by panic and confusion. This wise and rapturous book is the story of how she left behind all these outward marks of success, and of what she found in their place. Following a divorce and a crushing depression, Gilbert set out to examine three different aspects of her nature, set against the backdrop of three different cultures: pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and on the Indonesian island of Bali, a balance between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence.

**

A collection of 108 short pieces combine to form Eat Pray Love, the nonfiction bestseller by Elizabeth Gilbert. Faced with unhappiness and an overwhelming depression, Elizabeth begins a journey to become closer to God and pull herself out of the darkness that has consumed her life. 

Each short essay is a puzzle piece that creates a world where Elizabeth can be devout in her faith and in herself. She bares all in this novel, throwing down the gauntlet and astoundingly admitting her every fault. Gilbert connects with readers through her admission of guilt, shortcomings, and life experiences. Each life experience may not resonate with every reader, but every reader will definitely recognize at least one common denominator between themselves and Gilbert. 

The journey that she faces is one of erratic ups and downs. As she travels through India, Indonesia, and Italy, Gilbert documents her feelings of love and loss. Both which let her find God, moving away from the past and into the present. 

Though some of the essays are tedious to read and hard to connect with, the writing style of Gilbert brings life to the death of her depression. She gives readers an account on how she discovered a path out of her personal hell. I found Eat Pray Love to be a lovely book of expanding hope and would recommend it happily.

Rating: 3.5/5 Cups

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia